


Shana Tova

by Bacner



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Coulson makes a mean soup, F/M, Gen, Obelisk, Roxxon (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Shana Tova, Short Story, Some Family Feels, a holiday story, alternate universe - post-series, now updated, rutabaga, some canon divergence, some real-life events' related, wild sheep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:41:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26583814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/pseuds/Bacner
Summary: Phil Coulson plans on celebrating the Jewish New Year alone; instead, he gets to celebrate it with some rather unexpected people.
Relationships: Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie/Yo Yo Rodriguez, Grant Ward/Kara Lynn Palamas, Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beckysue_bonner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beckysue_bonner/gifts), [julrenda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julrenda/gifts), [carolina_beckerj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolina_beckerj/gifts), [dd_83701](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dd_83701/gifts), [Patty_Parker60](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patty_Parker60/gifts).



> Disclaimer: Marvel owns everyone here.

Once upon a time, when Phil Coulson finished starting setting up the table – for himself, really, but you never know, even though he was retired, (or not), - there was a knock on the door.

“Now who could that be?” Phil wondered to himself, (he rather hoped that it was Daisy, because of reasons), as he went to open the door in question. 

To his surprise, (though not for the obvious reasons), it was not Daisy and co. who were standing before him – rather, it were Ward and agent 33 of all people.

“Weren’t you dead?” Coulson asked the more obvious question instead. (It seemed safer).

“Look who’s talking,” Ward did not sound either too hurt or too impressed. “Coulson, we haven’t gotten along in the past, and probably won’t in the future either, but for now, in the present – Shana Tova!”

“Here’s a pound cake,” agent 33 added helpfully. “Happy holiday?” she added, sounding slightly less sure of herself now as she looked into Coulson’s new home, past him. (Which was rather rude, actually)…

“This isn’t a sort of a holiday that involves gifts, especially rather housewarming ones,” Coulson pinched his nose, “but Shana Tova to you too! You want to come in? Daisy isn’t here though…”

“Yes, it is as if we want to avoid her and hers in order to ditch all of the drama,” Ward agreed without any fuss, surprising Coulson further. “Melinda? What do you say?”

“You really shouldn’t have gone the extra mile,” the woman in question replied from behind Coulson, almost causing him to die from surprise, (and not in a fun way), “the Jewish New Year isn’t that sort of a holiday, apparently, but my domestic skills are about the same that they are in my mother and Nana, so any food is welcome.”

“…Mel? How long you have been here?” Coulson asked, as Melinda took the food offering and let the younger couple inside. 

“Long enough to continue setting up the table,” Melinda replied placidly, with a wave of her arm indicating as to how she had done exactly that. “I don’t know much about Jewish holidays – you know about the Chinese ones even less, I believe – but I do know that you shouldn’t be alone on any holiday, period.”

“And you reached out to them?” Coulson asked crossly, as Ward and Palamas undressed them-selves and looked around with clear evident curiosity.

“…They weren’t my first choice, no, but Daisy and co. are out in space on S.W.O.R.D. duty, the FitzSimmons are unreachable, because of Alya, and I cannot quite blame them, and I didn’t talk to Mack and Yo-Yo because they have their own reasons…”

“We talked to them,” Ward said suddenly, (while Kara began to help the Cavalry set up the ta-ble). “They’re coming all the same, for a variety of reasons.”

“Excuse me,” Melinda gave Ward a look. “What-“

“Mack was the resident rabbi on the Iliad,” Kara replied brightly, as she positioned herself be-tween the two of them. “He actually needs it as much as Coulson here, just in a different way.”

There was a pause. “Mack is Jewish?” Coulson blinked. “I didn’t know that-“

“I remember hearing something about that,” the Cavalry admitted, “but-“

“But nothing,” the man in question himself rumbled, as he knocked at Coulson’s open door. “None of us had had much time in settling down and talking about each other with all of the excitement of living, dying, escaping the framework, rescuing an alternate universe from the Chro-nocons, and everything else in-between. Shana Tova, Phil!”

“Shana Tova,” Coulson replied mechanically, as he shook Mack’s hand, (he felt that the occasion called out for it). “Mack, Yo-Yo.”

“Hey!” the Latina in question replied happily, as she gave Phil a peck on the cheek, winked mischievously as the Cavalry, (who glared), and zoomed off to Kara, with whom she began an animated discussion in Spanish.

Coulson blinked. “I didn’t know agent 33 knew Spanish,” he told no one in particular. 

“I taught it to her as we were recovering after Puerto Rico,” Grant replied, actually looking sheepish for a change. “I thought that she had forgotten it because of the Faustus Method…funny story, only not so funny…”

“Everything with you is like that!” Lance Hunter exclaimed, as he and Bobbi appeared from be-hind Mack, (to be fair, Mack was a big person, and Coulson’s current doorway was rather small instead). “Hey, Phil! Shana Tova!”

“…Sorry,” Kara winced. “We honestly didn’t think that they’d come.”

“Yes, well, Jemma and Leo may be our relatives,” Bobbi said brightly, “but, still, we kind of want closure with Phil here more instead.”

“Excuse me,” Phil blinked. “Lance, Barbara, what are you talking about-?”

“Oh Phil,” Melinda sighed sadly. “You could always win people, but you usually couldn’t keep them-“

“Again, excuse me?” Coulson turned to face his oldest friend and partner, (cough). “Mel-“

“Phil,” Bobbi said quietly, as she put her gift – a bottle of wine – onto the table. “You’re a good man, but as a director? Mack is better; Hell, Ward was better when it came to his people; and as for Fury-“

“That’s enough!” Melinda barked, startling everyone, but Phil managed to gain the lead over even her:

“No, Melinda, that’s fair,” he said quietly. “We did our best in running S.H.I.E.L.D. after the Centipede case,” he shot Ward a look that the younger man accepted without flinching, “but, yes, we had some mistakes, which had kind of grown out of control as time went by…but now it is New Year-“

“Well, the Jewish New Year,” Mack commented, sounding rather embarrassed here.

“Yes, and how exactly did you end up Jewish?” Phil asked before he could control himself. “Uh, sorry-“

“Don’t be,” fortunately, Mack did not sound too offended. “My family converted to Judaism a long time ago, shortly after they were exported from Africa, shall we say.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah; we didn’t officiate it too much even in this century, but-“

“-but Mack and I are talking about it lately,” Yo-Yo zipped over to him and said brightly. “It’s good for both of us!” she shot both Phil and Melinda a pointed look, (which was ignored by both of them). “Anyways, um, what Coulson was saying?”

“It is the Jewish New Year,” Coulson spoke, sounding more cross than how he usually did, (con-trary to how he looked and normally acted, he took his religion quite seriously!). “It’s time to make amends, to make peace, to have closure,” (he shot several people a pointed look, which they accepted without flinching, actually), “and to set the course for the next year, to change the life for the better, for everybody involved…” he looked around. “I got to admit that I didn’t expect this sort of thing, I didn’t expect people to actually come and visit me, now that I’ve decided to retire…well, to semi-retire…” (This time several people shot him incredulous looks, which Coulson accepted with a good enough grace), “but visit me you did, and join me at the festive table you shall, and stop to talk like Yoda I should-“

Melinda rolled her eyes, muttered something under her breath and hugged him. That effectively shut Coulson up – for several moments. “As I was saying,” he restarted his speech bravely, but in a more subdued, less grand, (and Yoda-like), style, “thank you for coming to see me at the holiday, and please join me at the table. We got a new year ahead of us, as well as a New Year!” he cracked his trademark grin. Some people grinned back, others groaned, but everyone responded all the same. 

“So, let’s sit down,” Phil continued, as he pulled out a chair, (for Melinda, cough), “and, well, enjoy our holiday meal, regardless of whether it is traditional or not! What do you say, everybody?”

“Hear, hear,” ‘everybody’ replied as one, and Phil Coulson actually had a very enjoyable Jewish New Year party, much better than if it would’ve been just by his lonesome, (and that was probably the point). He also rather enjoyed it, cough, but that was another story.

End


	2. Several weeks later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an unexpected sequel...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Marvel still owns everyone here.

_Some time later..._

"Remind me, why are we doing this?" Melinda grouchily asked Coulson, as the pair of them brought in Coulson's props and equipment for his stall in the Stark family center. "You've retired after all - technically - and I'm-"

"Yes, May, we are," Coulson replied brightly, easily smoothing over any bumps in Melinda's logical sequence, (for which she was grateful, this time), "but it is the pre-holiday season, and both of are have more free time on our hands than how we would like." (Melinda didn't argue this point). "So, let's do a bit of good PR, and - just have fun!"

...Melinda didn't look quite convinced at this statement of his, so Coulson added, rather like an afterthought. "Besides, do you have any better ideas of what to do at this time of the year?"

Melinda shook her head. She hated to admit it, but Coulson's point was loud and clear - neither of them had much of a life outside of S.H.I.E.L.D., though Coulson had tried, in the past - but then Fury meddled, Loki invaded NYC, Fury meddled some more...and Coulson abruptly found himself only with S.H.I.E.L.D., something that he hadn't handled as well, as everyone and anyone else would've expected.

...To add injury to insult, now Coulson was de-facto retired from S.H.I.E.L.D. ...and this was it. While he wasn't quite as anti-social as Melinda was, (but then again, no one was as anti-social as Melinda May was), he still didn't have much of life, (or of reason), to be without S.H.I.E.L.D., and that was kind of sad, (in Melinda's opinion - not that she was much better off - she just wasn't a good mentor material, period, but)...

"Mel! Earth to Mel! Don't drop the rutabagas!" Coulson said cheerfully, as he waved his arm at Melinda's face. Melinda caught it and scowled, but her heart wasn't in it - when push came to shove, she wasn't against being out in public for whatever reason as one would expect. Instead... she took a deep breath. "Right," she said quietly. "What's the plan, Phil?"

"Help me set up the booth and hope that Pepper won't be actually be upset at seeing us," Coulson replied, also somewhat subdued, (by his standards, anyways). "After all, while all of us were out there, playing 'Choose Our Own Adventure' or something, the Avengers and friends were saving the world from that Thanos creature, whoever he was. That just ain't right. Nick once called me an Avenger, and-"

"Phil, let's not go there," Melinda winced. Their final showdown with John Garrett, (and to a lesser exent - with Ward), proved to be a pyrrhic victory at best, as it opened a can of worms in the immediate future. Fury did call Coulson an Avenger, but things really didn't work out for them in the future - not for Phil and the rest of the team Bus, nor for Fury, nor for the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. "Let's just go to the designated place and start setting up - it won't be easy with just the two of us."

"We'll help you with that," Lance Hunter commented as he and Bobbi Morse made their way over to the older couple. "Had to set our booth by ourselves - initially - and it wasn't much fun; had to actually team-up with Kenji here to set them up, both his and ours-"

"The man looks familiar," Coulson muttered thoughtfully as he eyed the scar-faced Afro-American man who was standing in his own booth and eyeing them in a not-too-friendly manner himself. "Is he one of Ward's-?"

"Hell no," Hunter shook his head. "He's the current head of the Watchdogs!"

Phil and Melinda blinked, as they remembered the anti-InHuman vigilante group. "It's still around?" Phil asked quietly. "I thought that it was being backed by Hydra-"

"Phil, the Watchdogs are, really, bigots for hire," Hunter shook his head. "They're the 21st century's KKK - you Americans!.. They aren't going away anytime soon - Kenji here let slip that they got a new backer not too long ago, and she - the person - seems to be authentically anti-InHuman when it comes to this sort of thing."

"She?" Coulson grew thoughtful.

"The Watchdogs were hired by one Monica Rappachini," Hunter muttered, "but there are rumors that she's just the face here, and Kenji isn't too fond of the new employers - they're way much into robots for his tastes; might jump ship-"

"Oh?"

"Don't give us that look," Hunter muttered, sounding somewhere defensive. "It's just that - it's hard been a character who'd been written out of their TV show for good; the fanfics are good place to survive, but little more, so we're trying to be less judgemental here..."

Both Phil and Melinda blinked. "Just ignore him," Bobbi sighed. "Ever since we've ran into Wade 'Deadpool' Wilson and the man's crazy ideas, Lance has been like this himself... Well, we got you set-up anyhow - what a mincemeat tart?"

"You don't smell very meaty," Melinda grumbled. 

"That's because mincemeat is actually more a dried fruits and booze thing," Lance explained grandly.

"Ah, of course-"

"It's not like that, really!" Lance said a triffle defensively. "What will you be making, anyhow?"

"A traditional Jewish soup, complete with rutabaga - it's the secret ingredient," Coulson said brightly.

The younger couple blinked and turned to Melinda.

"Don't look at me - apparently it how his grandmother used to make," Melinda deflected. "Look, the tree is coming in!"

And it certainly was - a giant spruce, easily 21 meters tall, and it looked-

"...It reminds me of you, actually," Melinda commented to Coulson. "Remember when we were still in Junior High and you decided to cut your own hair-?"

"No," Coulson said flatly.

"Well, I do, and-"

Melinda didn't finish, as she was interrupted both by a little girl's wail - "My present!" - and by the appearance of the said present: an escaped parrot that made some parrot sounds and flew towards the giant tree.

"This is going to be good," Bobbi muttered.

It certainly was, but probably not in the way as to how Bobbi was visualing it, as another bird burst from out of the branches and began to divebomb the parrot, driving it away and down to the ground. The parrot was a big one, apparently one of the macaw types, while the second bird was much smaller, somewhere between a small pigeon and a large house sparrow - but it was still getting the better of the tropical bird.

"Does anyone else remember the Isla Nublar fiasco and its' fighting dinosaurs?" Coulson muttered to no one in particular. "I know that I do-"

A person in a red and blue suit swooped from the center's ceiling and scooped the birds in some sort of netting.

"That is actually Peter Parker - he used to be Stark's protege or something," Hunter muttered to the older couple. "Fury tried to make him a new Avenger, but something didn't take, and now Fury is supposedly building the new team on the West coast instead."

"Lovely," Coulson pinched his nose. "On one hand, I'm sad that I'm not involved this time, on the other - kind of relieved."

"Well, actually," Melinda didn't finish as the wailing girl - who was apparently Morgan Stark herself - appeared on the scene and began to harass Spider-Man in question as only preteen girls can. This human reinactment of the avian interactions - a small drab bird harassing a larger, and more colorful one - went for some time, until another girl - this one of Peter Parker's age stepped in and handled young Morgan with all the skills of a professional babysitter, (among other things). Together, the mismatched trio, (alongside PepperS tark and Happy), withdrew from the scene.

"I know that girl - she's one of ours," Melinda muttered to others. "I think-"

"Yeah, she's one of the new cadets, Michelle Jones or something like that," Bobbi muttered back, sounding oddly shifty for once. "I'll introduce you to her later."

"Later?"

"Booths? Food? Holiday celebrations?" Bobbi shot back with none of her previous reluctance. "Right now?"

"Good point," Coulson agreed quickly. "SHall we start advertising with the free samples and what-not?"

"Yes, exactly!" Lance Hunter said brightly, and this was what they did. 

And Melinda May even enjoyed herself in assisting Coulson with his soup, but that was another story.


	3. At the same time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Mack and others were up to, meanwhile...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: see previous chapters.

The quinjet flew merrily through the air, carrying with it an assemblage of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, pardoned, (by Fury) and otherwise.

“So, we seem to have uncovered yet another alien obelisk, this one set in the Arizona desert,” Mack, the new director of S.H.I.E.L.D., (cough), told the rest of the agents, who…were listening to him fairly attentively, actually, without any snide remarks or arguments. Somehow, this felt even more worrisome to Mack, who was not too used to the director job without having Hydra, or the Chronocoms, or anyone else, come up and challenge him and the agency. “Unlike the one that was formerly located on the Iliad,” Mack paused, shook his head, clearing it from some re-maining ghost of the past, “this one is triangular rather than rectangular in shape and is silvery in color rather than grey, too. Right now, it seems to be static, but then again, Roxxon fenced it off, because it is on their land, supposedly. Any ideas?”

“It was discovered by people who were investigating the migratory routes of the local wild sheep,” Kara Palamas, aka agent 33, (but no one called her that, ever, not anymore), commented from her seat on the plane, “and the animals in question are giving the space with the new obelisk a wide berth.” She paused, looked askance at Ward and continued brightly: “Animals often have a better idea of what is ‘alien’ and ‘dangerous’ than people do so why the FitzSimmons weren’t contacted? Aren’t they S.H.I.E.L.D.’s experts on the Obelisks and the like?”

“Because Jemma is already expecting, and the FitzSimmons are taking a sabbatical from S.H.I.E.L.D. duty,” Mack said flatly. “Next?”

“If it is Roxxon’s land, why are we bearding the lion in its’ lair?” agent Davis – or his LMD – Mack wasn’t sure about that, sadly – asked.

“We won’t be confronting them,” Mack replied immediately – even under Fury, S.H.I.E.L.D. never confronted Roxxon and Mack did not intend to break that tradition, as Roxxon was even more too powerful to tackle for them now. “Rather, we will be overseeing how Roxxon will han-dle it…alongside S.W.O.R.D. and some other organizations, of course.”

“S.W.O.R.D.?” someone asked.

“Space CIA, set up by the British government, ran by Ailson Brand, who was one of us before the Hydra uprising,” Mack replied. “Agent Shergill is the liaison.”

“Good,” Yo-Yo said brightly. “I liked her!” she looked up innocently at Mack. Mack half-glared at her, but his heart was not in it. Some sniggers were heard.

“Right!” Mack turned back to the rest, glaring with more authenticity now. “Ward! You and Ka-ra noticed that the wild sheep were reacting with the alarm to the new Obelisk?”

“Yes,” the younger man did not challenge the new director. “So-?”

“The two of you can start working on this angle,” Mack said flatly. “Any questions?”

“In this case we need to get to the local wildlife center,” Grant replied thoughtfully. “Can we leave the quinjet early?”

“Use one of the pods,” was the reply.

“Will do,” and the other couple left.

Mack exchanged a look with Yo-Yo, but the quinjet began to land, so any further comments had to be curtailed for the moment.

/ / /

_Some time later…_

“Absolutely not! I don’t care!” Ms. Sasha, the current/local representative of Roxxon, told Mack, while glaring at him, at his people, and at the rest of the people present, (cough, agent Shergill, cough), very, very meanly. “This is Roxxon territory, Roxxon property, and Roxxon situation, and we will resolve it ourselves!”

“Of course, of course,” Mack said placatingly, (it was not working, but he didn’t really care for his own reasons), “but we’re here to observe only, among other things-“

“What other things?” the Roxxon agent snapped, but at that moment Grant and Palamas appeared on the scene, driving some sort of a wheelbarrow with a dead sheep on it. “What is it?”

“An experiment,” Ward replied flatly. “Director, if you would please help-?”

Mack walked over to them, (ignoring now the Roxxon representative), looked at them, and after a brief pause helped Grant to pick up the dead animal and to fling it at the Obelisk, (which was more of a triangular, than a rectangular, shape). The carcass hit the structure with a flat thump and just remained there, propped against the structure, for a little while. 

…And then the Obelisk ejected several pseudopods from its surface and submerged the carcass in question into itself, before settling still once again, leaving most of the spectators flabbergasted. 

“Thought so,” Mack said brightly, (as he hastily finished looking over some info that Yo-Yo had handled over him via her super-speed). “This here is what we at S.H.I.E.L.D. index as an ooze. It is mindless, barely registers pains, and is almost uncontrollable.” He looked at Sasha, who glared at him from behind her designer shades. Actually, she twitched towards her designer shades, clearly aiming to remove them, when Ward shifted and looked at her. 

So did Palamas. Whatever happened between the three of them happened, as Sasha clearly shrunk into herself and backed down with a gulp. Mack was not entire sure as to what happened, but this was a moment for a later, and now-

“The point is that this is still a live entity, and not a space one,” he continued cheerfully. “S.H.I.E.L.D. has recognized oozes as part of Earth’s ecosystem since the times of Margaret Carter as a director, so this is really isn’t S.W.O.R.D.’s problems and probably not S.H.I.E.L.D’s either. Enjoy resolving this issue, Ms. Sasha, and hopefully it won’t be another New Orleans situation, eh?”

“I hate you,” the Roxxon representative muttered, but she did stalk off. 

Mack, meanwhile, looked at his people. “Let’s discuss,” he said, slowly.

/ / /

_Epilogue…_

“And that was the end of it, really,” Mack told Coulson and May later, as the four of them, (including Yo-Yo) were sitting in Coulson’s home and talking about the case in Arizona. “The ooze remains dormant, and isn’t growing or eating anything or anyone in the vicinity, which is good. Roxxon is cooperating with S.H.I.E.LD. on this one, mostly because they have to, but still. It could’ve been worse, and besides – it’s Roxxon, after all.”

“Point,” Coulson muttered, “and Mack, are you all right?”

“Sorry for all of the hardship that we gave you when you were S.H.I.E.L.D.’s director,” Mack muttered. “No wonder that you had issues even before anything else!”

Melinda rolled her eyes. Yo-Yo sniggered. Coulson just patted Mack on the shoulder.

End


End file.
